[Two Pronged] I can't stop replying to my ex

Huwag marupok bes! Kaya mo 'yan! 😬

Rappler's Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.

He was uncomfortable with my family being better off and I was unable to make him feel secure in my love. I had a hard time forgiving him, made the same mistakes he was angry about although I tried not to. What bonded us was his listening to me calmed him. I was happy knowing I could do that for him. But the brunt of his temper turned towards me, scaring me. He cheated on me and we tried to fix our relationship but I was pretty cold by then.

I feel no romantic ties or physical attraction towards him, but the niggling desire to still be his confidante continues. How do I stop feeling this way?ArabelleIt is quite normal to carry memories of past relationships, romantic and otherwise, and it is clear that you remember both the good and bad times with your first boyfriend. Hopefully these should guide you to replicate the former and avoid the latter.

With all these possibilities to hand, you need to consider what exactly is driving this refusal of yours to sever ties with #1 and ask yourself if it is purely within you or a function of something you miss with #2. Finally, remember that even if we sometimes have desires which we cannot suppress, that is ok provided we do not act on them.Thank you very much for your letter.

This is the reason someone who constantly apologizes can be irritating as hell – yes, even if you are who they apologize to. Only an apologizee as “narcissistic” as the apologizer, will not mind. In apologizing to a fellow NL, they both become the focus. Simply calling them impulses rather than, for example, what they really are – self indulgent responses to an ex that you can control but won’t because you can get away with them – does not make them okay.

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