![[Two Pronged] Should I continue seeing my boy toy?](https://i.headtopics.com/images/2019/8/17/rapplerdotcom/when-i-m-with-him-i-feel-so-happy-he-makes-me-feel-special-and-needed-something-i-don-t-feel-with-my-1162605248726351877.webp)
'When I'm with him, I feel so happy. He makes me feel special and needed – something I don't feel with my husband.'
Rappler's Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr Margarita Holmes.
I'm starting to miss him if I don't see him, and I think I'm falling for this guy. But I'm confused if I should continue my illicit affair with him.Perhaps you can tell us more – such as why you think you should continue the affair and why you think you shouldn't.Well, I think I still want to continue with the affair because I really like this guy. When I'm with him, I feel so happy. He makes me feel special and needed – something I don't feel with my husband.
Then there is the financial aspect. You say"I'm not ready yet financially." Obviously you are already contemplating the possibility of a future without Jim once you have the necessary resources so maybe to your mind it is just a matter of time before Jim is but a historical footnote in your life. If this is your major consideration, then you merely have to strike a judicious balance between enjoying Bill and avoiding discovery.
What I would like to do is focus on your relationship with Jim, both then when love seemed at its height and now, alas, when love seems nonexistent. Because your dalliance with Bill happened partly as a reaction to Jim's behavior, I cannot help feeling that Jim still matters to you. Whether he does or doesn't, don't you want to see where you both really stand with one another?
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