“At my age, I have no use for pointless romance. I am past that. It’s 14 years since my husband died. I am dying to be touched. I am human. I need to be rocked by a man. Some younger man perhaps,”
Ageing is a tragedy, a bouquet of forlornness, deprivation, and muted rage for some older Nigerians. Even so, modern psychology and literature recommend romance and sex as anti-ageing elixir but not every older person would drink the kool-aid, writesIf romance is a gift to the granny over 60, sex is the treat. The sundae on the twilight years. But Deborah Ikuom, 63, would skip the gift and savour the treat. Some like it vice versa. Not Ikuom. She longs to be “cradled and manhandled.
“Till his death, in March 2018, my children denied me further contact with him. They lured me overseas in order to separate us. Now that he is dead, my children are relieved. He has been buried but my needs are alive and still very intense,” she said. “I’m a woman easily bored by the games the genders play. Fascinated though I may be about good old Lady Love, I have always been somewhat strangely bored with the physicality of its expression. Noisy, sweaty, deranged and totally chaotic!,” she said.
Occasionally, she gets “hormonal” but a “punishing, cold bath” and stern “praise-worship” rids her of such “devilish desires.” When it persists, she simply takes a long walk or seeks relief in the scriptures. “Most of my clients these days are younger men in their mid-30s and early 40s. Poor lifestyle choices including excessive work stress, lack of exercise, smoking, alcoholism, poor diet are responsible for their inability to get an erection,” she said.Older men have too few options for romance and sex. David Atolagbe, 72, lamented that he would be sexually active if his wife spent more time with him.
But “the fascination with, and hankering for sex had always been part of older people, it’s just that many of us are too scared and too prim and proper to admit it,” argued Adesoji Edison, 61, a London, United Kingdom based wellness entrepreneur.
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