Why it's time to start talking about how we want to die

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Why it's time to start talking about how we want to die
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Palliative care nurses Faye Tomlin and Emma Graham don't want you to leave this conversation until an emergency or emotional diagnosis. And they hope that by speaking about death, we can also learn more about how we want to live.

Ms Tomlin has been a palliative care nurse for a decade in a nursing career that's spanned over a quarter of a century.Both women say they never planned to work in palliative care, but felt drawn to this work.Ms Graham admits even she had "a bit of a misconception" about palliative care before transitioning from general nursing three years ago.

"Something else that always continues to surprise me about meeting people that are at risk of dying, or close to dying, is the complexities of the way people have lived and how they continue to live and, and what we accept as humans," she said. Ultimately, Ms Tomlin and Ms Graham see their job as helping people live well for as long as possible."I simply accept others for who they are and I try my very best to allow them to see their best self."Ms Tomlin and Ms Graham say their role as palliative care nurses is to listen to patients without judgement and to help them feel at peace before they die.

Part of what Ms Tomlin and Ms Graham do is discuss care options, including medical interventions, with patients so they're fully informed. "Our role … is to make sure the person is empowered to make their own choice and to also ensure that whatever choice is made, that door to palliative care is never closed," Ms Tomlin said.But Ms Tomlin said sometimes they come into the picture too late.

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