Mark Travers, Ph.d, is an American psychologist who writes about psycho-educational topics such as happiness, relationships, personality, and life meaning. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder.
It’s no secret that all couples argue from time to time, but have you ever wondered if they all tend to argue for the same reasons? According to a 2016When these needs go unmet, it can lead to what’s known as “need frustration”—which significantly impacts our motivation, well-being and, crucially, our intimate relationships.
However, when this need for autonomy is unmet—when you feel that your freedom is being stifled or your choices are being controlled—it can lead to frustration. When partners begin gatekeeping one another’s decisions they can easily start to feel trapped, or as though they’re sacrificing too much of themselves for the relationship.
But when your need for competence is frustrated—when you feel like you’re constantly falling short or not living up to expectations—it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. You might start to doubt your abilities as a partner, which can trigger insecurity and defensiveness. For instance, if you perceive that your partner is unhappy or dissatisfied with your contributions to the relationship, or if they make it known, it’s easy to take that to heart—and to feel like you’re not good enough.
Fight Languages Love Languages Couple Arguments Common Arguments In Relationships Autonomy Relatedness Competence Mark Travers Online Therapy
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