Mixed metaphors: New forensic jokes

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Mixed metaphors: New forensic jokes
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Last week, President Muhammadu Buhari armed himself to the hilt with a new weapon: a mask.

Mali, our West African brother, has been in a major political crisis for nearly 10 years, its leadership destabilised by a military coup in 2012, followed by a rebellion which immediately attracted the concern of the international community. It has only got worse in the past few years.

So surprising that insecurity appears to be our only growing industry. And so surprising that last week, Nigeria’s upper legislative body took the unprecedented step of asking the nation’s service chiefs to step down, following a motion moved by Senator Ali Ndume But the shock dissipated when it became clear his mask had nothing to do with Nigeria: it was foreigners he was concerned about.

He addressed a questioner with an outburst that included: “You are near my age, but I am at least seven years older than you. I’m sure. I am of the same age with your mentor in Lagos, Asiwaju. I was governor with him at the same time. He was a senator, and I was a senator. I am a two-time minister and he isn’t a two-time minister.”

In yet another, now known as the “Off-Your-Mic” debacle, acting panel chairman Thomas Ereyitomi stopped Minister of Niger Delta Affairs Godswill Akpabio from expatiating on how “Most of the contracts in NDDC are awarded to National Assembly members.”

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