People we assumed to be decent, or thoughtful, or kind, turn out to be raging homophobes, or racists, or white supremacists, or all three. So what do we do when we come across this vitriol? | OPINION BY KerriSackville
Over the past two years, I have unfriended several acquaintances on Facebook. We didn’t have real life arguments, or any sort of falling out. Rather, they held ideas or prejudices that I found abhorrent, which were revealed through the magic of social media.
It’s happened to most of us. We’ll be flicking idly through Facebook, and discover our cheerful Auntie Mary has posted a transphobic comment under a post about Caitlin Jenner.Or, we’ll read a news story about immigration, and see that our old friend Pete has commented that Muslims are terrorists and we should ban them from the country. Or come across a dodgy column about how feminism is toxic, posted by the husband of one of our best friends.
People we assumed to be decent, or thoughtful, or kind, turn out to be raging homophobes, or racists, or white supremacists, or all three.So what do we do when we come across this vitriol? How do we deal with those who spout hate in real life and on social media?There are two main considerations in determining how to proceed: how emotionally robust you currently feel, and how likely the person is to change their views.
Expressions of bigotry are a form of assault. Many of us find expressions of hate to be distressing and/or triggering, and rightly so. It’s tough living in today’s climate, amid Trumpism and terror attacks and revelations of sexual assault and the ever-rising threat of white supremacy. Your primary responsibility must always be to your mental health, and if someone’s attitudes threaten to derail you, then you must steer clear.
On the other hand, expressions of bigotry can also be an opportunity. There may be a chance you can educate the person with thoughtful engagement and discussion. Steven King famously advocated this path, advising his followers to "stay friendly" with the Trump supporters in their lives to help change their minds.
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