Tell Me About It: We were pregnant (at 20) so got married and, in retrospect, it was way too early in the relationship
We were pregnant so got married and, in retrospect, it was way too early in the relationship. The early years of our relationship were so busy and full of stress, with financial worries, struggling with housing and childcare responsibilities that we never really had a chance to be young with enough money to enjoy ourselves.
I find I keep going back to the idea that I missed out on having flings, of finding a passion that consumed or a soul mate that excited me. I know my husband is a good man, that he too must have his regrets and unfulfilled dreams, but we don’t talk about anything like that, and it would be a struggle to try. It weirdly feels like the first decision to get married, that we are now deciding if we can stay together on our own for the next couple of decades.
You have the time and capacity to give this your full attention but fear gets in the way. Fear of the consequences of talking, that it might push you into a physical relationship that you might find distasteful or that you will feel responsible for the hurt and suffering of a good man. You are not in charge of your husband’s feelings, he is.
There is no going back, as you are now fully aware of this pivotal moment so do not overthink it but start the conversation as soon as you can There is no going back, as you are now fully aware of this pivotal moment so do not overthink it but start the conversation as soon as you can.